Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Phone call of a frustrated software engineer - ;-)

A software engineer  calls  his friend

Hello,
plss.. talk to me... y u r not picking up the call ?????"

Friend:  "everything is alright?"

"wat alright.. noting is alright.. see the time.. its 11pm.. n I m coming now from office..no food for me today also.. now I will cook...
From the past 3 days..I m eating only maggie... n my PM eating only me..see the price hikes, everything is 2/- more frm yesterday.. except my salary...I think the begger in front of my office.. earns more than me.. wat shud I do..."

"wat happened.. wat r u talking"

"wat i m talking???? no, I m not talking.. Manager dont allow anyone to talk except the client.. who always talks something.. from past 3 months i didnt take any leave..now from 3 weeks.. i m just begging for one dam leave.. n wat response i got....'why u want to waste an important day of ur life??'

i now finalize one more time... yes..i m gonna quit.. this project...but, i cant. no, i can.. but i wont..uh..."

"ok.. now Relax..."

"How can i relax... for relaxation ppl do yoga, but its night so i cant, then else they watch movies... but see, in every channel all bogus movies r repeating, same.. 'Welcome', 'Suryavansham',Govinda's movies...it really irritates... everyone is faking in TV, fake news, fake stories, fake swaynwars, fake reality...ah see the movies u will get to know... In "Rock-on" last scene... Arjun Rampal's wife says to taxi driver, that "hurry up, we r going late for Airport..." Airport...??? I dont understand, how can  thought he find a job in Cruze.. not Airlines..

In 3 Idiots... starting scene... Madhvan does the drama to leave his flight, then what happened to his luggage??
In same movie... Kareena is a doctor.. that too a surgeon.. to bcame a surgeon.. It requires atlest 5[MBBS]+3[MS] years.. so she shud be 28... n Aamir as a student.. only 18 or 20 ?? then after 10 years they decide to marry.. means she is 38 ??
I dont understand, how can spiderman reach to the church-bell in part-3, when he lost all his power ??
I dont understand, how Balakrishna can send a train back just by Hitting his thighs, when I cant ??
I still dont understand how could Rajnikanth fly without wings ?? i just dont....."

"hey stop it now.."

"am I a train who will stop it, by pulling chain... ohh train.. I dont understand, how can I didnt   see one in last 3 months... how will i see ? All the time monitor is in front of me.. in night also wen I open my eyes, I find my username and password window.. I need to cool down..

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

but someone tell me howw.. everytime there is a powercut here.. except wen i m not in home.. home, wat rubbish,its a dam single room..where i m living alone with my pillow..


I also want girlfriend yaar, like my rivals have..
smita, rashmi, priti, sruti, madhu.. anyone frm my odc is ok, but they all r engaged, u know y ?
Bcoz their boyfriends do not work in IT companies, outside girls do have chat wid me but only on my salary day..
I got rejected 31 times.. u know y ?? each time I propose them, they ask where do u live..
I say in my Cubicle.. Bcoz thats the only place u can find my soul all the time.."

"hey man, u better take rest, we will talk in Morning"

" Morning.. are u talking the same morning.. Sun rises, bird flies, poori fries, employee cries... dam , i didnt see the Sun,from 3 years.. how it looks like... every morning I catching shuttle, reaching my birthplace 'cubicle' working n working n leaving when Sun uncle is not there... i will hit my room-owner some days, every morning he used to cry for increasing room rent, I will always tell him to go n meet my Manager... I dont understnd how can i be so nice to my colleagues..  Each time they want leave, they repeat the same old dialogue... "my sister's marriage".. my colleague's 9 sisters got married,
3 times grandpa expired,
5 times frnd went to ICU.. but my colleague is fine..
and his favorite dialog "i need to drop a frnd to hospital, as he is not feeling well" later i find movie tickets in his purse... then my pm's motivational speech.. 'u will work.. u will grow'.. means if i wont work.. i will shrink or what...
when I need hike, I m junior.. still need to grow.. when I do mistakes.. comon man u r senior now, u can not do mistakes.. ahhh God gimme some power to understand the greatness of a super natural person known as PM in this world.."

"ok enough now, i m disconnecting"

"wait.. i called you.. n u r disconnecting.. u know previously i was normal, when i was in college, i used to talk continuosly watever i want, now i m talking only this much... 'yaa its done', 'that work is completed', 'Please..', 'Good Morning','Lunch','Tea','Snacks'..

I dont know wat i m talking abt, i shud b happy.. i have saturday n sunday.. Saturday to recover from the disaster been made from monday to friday..
Sunday to think about upcoming disaster from monday to friday.. cool naa..

you heard that in 2012 earth will end.. then also my ODC and my cubicle will remain as it is.. u know why ??
because that's not a part of earth.. n we employees are not human beings... we are aliens, so better before u start getting headache... go have a nice dream.. me, I will again start my day tomorrow like I m starting everyday..
good night..."

beeeeeeeeep...beeeeeeeeeep...beeeeeeeeeep
**********************************************************

Next Day, in office:-

Manager: "Dude, Please come here"

"Yes sir.....!!"

M: "I approved your leaves.. i think you should go and have some fun"

I happily came out, and checked my phone Dialled calls..

"Ohhh my God, yesterday I called my PM instead of my friend...
Shiit "  

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